Ranma glanced at his watch. Kasumi would be finished making dinner soon, and he didn’t dare miss one of Kasumi’s home cooked meals.

He slung the bag of groceries over his shoulder. He was almost at the dojo. He rounded a corner and was hit with a blinding blast of energy. Ranma jumped backwards and landed on the top of a fence. He stared at the sidewalk, where a huge form was appearing, surrounded by tendrils of mist.

“What – what the – what the heck is that?” he stuttered in disbelief. He blinked rapidly at the monster that had appeared before him. It was at least seven feet tall, with four purple arms, lots of muscles, and dark, slanted eyes. A green shell, not unlike that of a turtle, was on its back, and its mouth was filled with sharp-looking teeth. Ranma cracked his knuckles and hung the grocery bag on one of the chain links that had worked itself loose.

“Well,” he thought to himself. “Weirder things have happened.” He leaped off the fence and landed on his feet in front of the…thing.

“I don’t know what you are or where you came from,” he said to it, “but you’re ugly and you’re in my way. So, now I guess I’m just going to have to kick your—”

“Hold it right there, Negaverse Trash!” A male voice interrupted Ranma right in the middle of his threat. Annoyed, Ranma turned to see who had cut him off.

“He can’t be serious…” Ranma muttered as he watched a tall guy wearing a full tuxedo, top hat, and cape run out of the corner florist shop. The man straightened his hat and adjusted his mask before leaning nonchalantly against a street sign.

“Your reign of evil will be ended before it begins, Nega Creep,” the guy said in a flat monotone. “Like a freshly blossomed rose that is cut, you will be finished before you have had a chance to start. Picking on poor defenseless civilians…I will not allow it!” With that he pulled a rose from somewhere inside his cape and hurled it at the monster.

Ranma glared at the guy whose cape was now swirling about him as he struck a dramatic pose. “Defenseless?” he muttered. “Who does this freak in a tuxedo think he is? Why does he have a bouquet of flowers hidden in his clothes? And how does his cape fly around like that if there’s no wind?!” Shaking his head, Ranma walked over to the guy, who had obviously just escaped from the asylum. He placed his hand on the guy’s shoulder.

“Look, buddy,” he said. “Don’t you have a prom or something you should be getting to? Why don’t you just go back to the padded room and—”

“Stand back!” The guy in the suit shoved Ranma out of the way and jumped to the side before a blast of energy hit the spot they had been standing in. He pulled some more roses out of his cloak and threw them at the monster. The roses stuck in the monster’s chest, and it roared in pain.

“Get lost before you get hurt!” the crazy guy yelled as Ranma stared at him. “Leave this to me! For I am Tuxedo Mask!”

Ranma raised an eyebrow. “Is that so?” he asked sarcastically. “I thought you were just some sissy in a top hat.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “So tell me, Tuxedo Mask, just how do you expect to defeat this thing with a bunch of flowers, huh? Is this some sort of new martial art technique I haven’t heard of?”

Tuxedo Mask leaped out of the way again as the monster threw a punch with one of its arms, but he was too slow. He jumped aside, holding his wounded arm and grimacing. He pulled out another rose. “These are special roses,” he answered. “I cut the ends of them until they’re as sharp as arrows. Then I just throw them at the Negaverse monster until it’s destroyed.”

“Uh-huh,” Ranma said skeptically. He rolled his eyes as “Tuxedo Mask” sneezed. “Oh, come on. Don’t tell me you’re allergic to roses.”

“Well…” Tuxedo Mask looked around nervously. “Just don’t tell anyone!”

Ranma sighed as he studied the pathetic guy before him. “You just stand back,” he told him. “I’ll show you the real way to fight a big ugly monster.” He walked up to the creature and rolled up his sleeves. He sank into a fighting stance. “Let’s go!” he shouted. The creature reached out two of its arms to try and grab Ranma but he ducked out of the way. He punched the monster in its stomach, and them jumped into the air to kick it in the mouth. The thing fell over onto its shell, where it rocked from side to side, trying to right itself. Ranma stared at the creature, who howled pitifully as it attempted to get to its feet, with insignificant results.

“Now, this is really sad,” Ranma muttered. It looked like a beetle that had fallen on its back. Well, he couldn’t fight it when it was so weak. He walked up to it and kicked it over. As soon as the monster was back on its feet it threw a kick at Ranma, who grabbed its foot and swung it into someone’s wall. The stone separation crumbled, revealing a person lounging in a lawn chair in their yard.

“Hey!” The person started to complain, but then he saw the monster and ran inside his house instead.

Ranma kept on kicking and punching the monster until he felt it tiring. The creature stepped back, swaying on its feet. Then it groaned and a light began to surround it. There was a small explosion, and Ranma covered his eyes and dug in his heels to keep from being thrown backward. When he opened his eyes, the creature was gone.

The guy who called himself Tuxedo Mask ran up to him. “Hey, man,” he said. “That was great. I’ve got to get back to work now. I have a job at that flower shop right there. But could you do me a favor? If you ever see a group of really hot girls running around in sailor suits…could you not tell them about this?”

Ranma narrowed his eyes warily at the dark haired guy before him. “Uh, yeah, sure,” he replied. “Whatever you say.”

The guy gave a relieved sigh and pulled off his hat and mask. “Thanks. I owe you one. I’d never live it down if they knew.” Tucking his hat under his arm, he shook Ranma’s hand. “I’ve got to go. My lunch break’s almost over. What’s the world coming to, when a super hero has to fight evil during his lunch hour?” He shrugged, waved, and walked back to the florist shop, his cape flying behind him.

Ranma licked a finger and held it up. Nope. No wind that he was aware of. So how did his cape do that? Oh, well.

He returned to the fence and retrieved the bag of groceries. He checked his watch, cursed, and broke into a run for home.

Man, he thought. Late again! This means I’ll have to eat the products of Akane’s after dinner cooking lessons. Maybe I should have let that monster finish me off, after all.